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Catching Feelings During Lockdown - Quarantine Baes & Entanglements.

Stay indoors, don't mix and mingle with other households were some of the rules given to us during the lockdown in the UK, although it seems like many of us were flouting lockdown restrictions, and found a quarantine bae. Relationships adapted over the lockdown months, although bars and restaurants were closed, the usual places to go on dates, this didn't seem to stop people as many formed entanglements/relationships over this period whether that be accidentally or intentionally. People were finding new ways to spend time with one another, a walk in the park seemed to be one of the most popular things to do, one of my friends even flew to Sweden to spend 11 days with his quarantine bae.

The thirst was real, I also noticed many were memorised by the cheesiest, version of 50 Shades of Gray, 365 Days, the film was released in December 2019 but gained a cult following during early May, two months into quarantine. The film is a Polish erotic thriller, with what looks like real sex scenes, 365 Days is basically a softcore Porn film with low budget techno music, I think what makes the girls go crazy is the thought of being kidnapped and held hostage by the very handsome Italian male lead Michele Morrone, this seemed to be the ultimate quarantine daydream spouted by many online, he plays the role of an Italian Mafia boss, “the ultimate bad boy.” To no surprise in the modern era that we’re living in, the movie’s popularity boosted his followers on Instagram and his drivel music career has since excelled, as he also has his own songs playing throughout the movie. Unfortunately, it's not the last we’re going to hear of this as there is a 356 Days 2 coming out in the near future. There's a reason why the movie remained at number 1 for many weeks this summer, some people were just craving intimacy with many rewatching it over and over again.

I laughed and joked about there being a baby boom due to the lockdown regulations, and my predictions came true it feels like everyone's popping babies, the amount of pregnancy announcements/gender reveals coming from those around me. I’ve been saying congratulations to someone every week, my best friend is now expecting. since the lockdown restrictions began to ease its evident to see how many couples have been keeping themselves busy especially the ones who were cohabiting together before the world shut down.

Whether you met someone online and had a first date over video chat due to many dating sites such as Tinder, Hinge, Bumble adapted offering this option. Or just started “dating” someone you know but had not previously considered. A lot of people told me they were dating people they would’ve previously not considered their type an example would be age and hair colour, mostly some physical traits, but none the less these people still found someone to hold during this period.

"It's easy to get swept up into an emotional comfortable entanglement when you're in need of human connection in what feels like solitary confinement."

Life comes at you fast, I was not actively looking for anyone and I found myself in an entanglement and it felt a little suffocating, after publishing an article on another site at the beginning of lockdown called “Don’t Text Your Ex: Why Self Isolation Isn’t The Right Time To Rekindle A Romance” Although I didn't go back to an ex as that is not my style, I did accidentally reconnect with someone I stood up and left waiting for me in a restaurant two years ago, I cancelled last minute and decided to go out for drinks with my friends/last-minute fashion week parties, I remember posting all over my story, which of course he watched them all and I ended up receiving a not so pleasant message along with a selfie to show the mood on his face the next day, demanding I make it up to him.

I lied and said I had to go to church and sing in the choir the next day (I am not part of any church congregation although I am an ex-Catholic school girl) I remember being hungover and finding what I was saying hilarious, I’m the type to laugh at my own jokes and for some reason, I found the situation amusing. I think he genuinely believed I was singing Kumbaya and hadn’t caught on to me pulling his leg.

Long story short he got fed up of my games and removed me from his life and quite rightly so I remember him stating that he didn’t want to be my pen pal anymore, I would talk with him all the time on the phone etc, I was playing games with meeting up and got into a relationship and shortly after that he did too which I believe was good for me I still had some growing to do and I wasn’t right for him then, as I never took him seriously although I was attracted to him. I don’t know why I behaved like that with him, I can’t recall being like that with other people.

I guess I wasn't a pen pal this time around, we had spoken about our previous last messages to each other and it was pretty nice to see how much we’d grown up since then, I was 22 at the time although he is five years older than me. And I still don’t know why I played games with him like that, I was silly and there has always been something about his energy that made me move mad, I did things I would never normally do, the only difference is that this time around my intensity got pulled out, both the positive and negative aspects of it. Moral of the story is to always shoot your shot twice and slide into the DM’s even years down the line.

I feel I learned a lot about myself during the Lockdown. I said at the beginning of the year I needed to feel something emotionally whether that meant falling in love or experiencing a connection, a feeling, I like to feel things. It helps with creative expression. And I do enjoy expressing myself as I’ve always felt the need to, and I think it's good for people to do so, especially through a creative outlet.

I certainly achieved a feeling and self-introspection. Not taking the small things in life for granted, whether that be tending to my plants or just appreciating nature. Everything was closed during lockdown so like most people there were no fancy dates to go on, and expensive restaurants to stuff your face at.

I found comfort in wearing his tracksuits and slides, holding hands on dog walks and the company/warmth of another, feeling somewhat understood in a world on pause, looking at life from a new perspective and valuing the invaluable, which I so often take for granted and fail to appreciate from day-to-day. Around that time I liked keeping it a secret, just a secret intense connection for me to keep to myself, not telling friends and family until I wanted to tell them, all while I was spending days on end with my person, I like my privacy in most aspects of my life even though I share I still hold back if that makes sense.

Since the easing of lockdown, I have also noticed many questioning their new relationships, and judging these entanglements without the rose-tinted glasses they once wore with delight. Asking themselves if they were just lonely, bored or is a relationship even what they want to be focusing on right now. How many of these new relationships that came together at a time of social distance will be able to transition back into this new, slightly altered version of reality that we're now living in, how many will make that transition and stay together in the long run, I guess only time will tell.

Written by,

Ebun Felicity Hargrave.


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